BOGO Totems, Spells for Sale, & Everything Else You Should Never Buy on The Internet

I apologize for not posting in a week or two. Up until yesterday morning I was recovering from some terrible stomach plague and had no energy for anything.

Cue the pity tears.

During my time on my death bed, I found myself swiping on Tinder for a doctor that could explain why I was dying, as well as cleaning up my inbox.

I subscribe to a lot of, ahem, interesting websites.

I try to keep up with the stranger occult and paranormal communities as having a finger on that creepy pulse keeps things lively! Also, I just really enjoy some of the “seriousness” that’s out on those sites & forums… Oh, the people you’ll meet!

There’s one particular site that leaves me scratching my head every time one of their emails slithers into my inbox.

Haunted Curiosities is a forum and online store that specializes in “rare” and “unique” “occult” items. You can find everything ranging from totems to a retreat in the woods with included spiritual cleansing.

Please note that certain keywords in the above paragraph are in quotes for a very specific reason:

In between bouts of vomiting, I dug around in their shop. Not only are the items for sale promising the greatest power, luck, wealth, love, & even immortality.

What’s even more interesting is that each item basically has a short story depicting the great lengths the shopkeepers went to to procure said item, and if that doesn’t make you scoff then the price points for these items will.

Now, I know what you’re thinking “but, girl… nobody is stupid enough to fall for that shit. Or at least no one has that kind of money to just throw at this crap”.

You’d be surprised.

I did some more digging and the craigslist of complaints, Ripoffreport.com, turned up quite a few reports on the shady-shady of Haunted Curiosities.

Not only was I surprised to see that people were spending their hard earned cash on the junk that this site was hashing out, but there were many instances in which a person repeatedly patronized the site trying to get something out of their purchase.

It was pretty sad.

Beyond this site, I found a whole section on Ripoff Report for people who were swindled out of big bucks by shady paranormal investigators and supposed mystics. This ranged from a few bucks for a bad psychic reading, all the way up to several thousands of dollars for repeated “cleanings” in order to prevent “predicted” terrible fates from befalling their loved ones.

I suppose there’s a lesson to be learned here.

Like, never ever shell out loads of hard earned cash for spiritual experiences or items in hopes that they will be the answer to all your problems. I know things can get rough some times, but going all-in with your faith in tow can only lead to disappointments.

This is not to discourage you from going to get your palm read or your tarot cards shuffled every once in a while. As long as you’re not relying on it to solve all your problems in life, I think you’re good. But beware of any psychic who would give you good news and then immediately push you to drop more cash for more answers.

Not worth your time, bro.

I think this suffices to say that you should avoid purchasing any and all of the aforementioned Β items/services online. Solely because I don’t want to see your lovely name on Ripoff Report, baby. πŸ™‚

So, tell me, what sort of crazy shady stuff have you seen online? What’s the craziest story of spiritual swindling you’ve ever heard? Have you ever been a victim of such? It’s okay, I’m here to support you and hunt those sons of bitches down. πŸ™‚Β 

‘Til next time!

-Sarah

Halloween Haunting 101: Home Haunt Cinema-spiration

It’s a rather dreary Sunday here at Vespertine House. As your curator, I can say without a doubt that we are loving this weather here. πŸ™‚

It’s perfect for films and writing… and writing about films!

We’re officially at the 100-days-til-Halloween mark on the calendar and what better way to kick things off than with some Home Haunt themed cinema!

Last weekend I watched several documentaries about Home Haunters. Not only is this my favorite new documentary genre, but it’s also the most informative for those of us looking to break into the Haunting game. πŸ™‚

Maybe not that serious, but still… let’s get to it!

 

The American Scream, 2012

This film follows three deeply devoted Halloween enthused families in Massachusetts. Each family goes the distance by turning their homes into neighborhood haunts for one night a year.

What I loved most about this film was how devoted each haunter was. They work tirelessly all year to see their idea of the perfect haunt come to fruition for just one night. Not to mention you see the best bare-bones DIY prop-building. If you’re a home haunter you’ll completely admire the use of duct tape and PVC here.

Out of all the films I’ve seen so far on the subject this is by far my favorite. The people in this film display the greatest passion for Halloween and truly hope to bring some magic to the people in their community. Not for personal gain, but solely because they want to. I’m instantly reminded of how great Halloween was for me when I was a kid, a large influence in that being my Dad and his DIY attitude towards making it as spooky as possible while on a budget. No matter how much he worked, he’d make the time to make Halloween memorable and magical for me and my sister.

Shoutout to you, Dad. Thanks for keeping it creepy. ❀

Definitely check this one out- I believe she’s still available on Netflix!

 

Haunters, 2014

This film documents a Michigan family who operate their “Phobia” haunt every year. The owners of the haunt being year-round Halloween/Costume Shop owners who are devoted to building up the best for-profit haunt in their area. You see everything from conception to building to the launch. Plenty of melodrama ensues.

I enjoyed this one sheerly because it was great to see someone take the initiative to start their own indie haunt. We see plenty of these pop up in our own towns every year, but actually seeing what goes into that is a lot of fun. It was good to see so many people come together to help create an intricate full-on Halloween production.

Definitely available to watch on Amazon Prime- get at it!

 

Monsters Wanted, 2013

This film documents the creation of a large scale Halloween “Scream Park” in Kentucky. The Haunt is run by Rich Teachout and his small team who take the backlot of a paintball park to the next level with intricate builds and production. Lots of drama ensues.

This one documents a lot of the business side of the up-and-comers industry in haunts. This isn’t necessarily a large-scale, big time attraction, but it’s certainly one that’s well on its way. I can’t say this was at the top of my list as the best, mainly because there was a lot of unnecessary drama that was documented. It overall took away from the end product. I honestly felt that the team in this film spread themselves too thin by trying to create a giant theme park with minimal help and funds. There was a lot of great effort and plenty of amazing concepts but it really fell short overall.

It’s most definitely on Amazon Prime- Give it a shot and tell me what you thought!

 


All in all, i’m hoping to see more of these home haunt docs crop up. I absolutely love seeing what’s happening on the indie circuit. A common thread that these films shared was the passion for haunting and Halloween. Everyone creating these haunts are immensely dedicated to creating something amazing. I can totally appreciate that.

Have you seen these films? If so, which was your favorite??Β 

Until next time!

-Sarah

Get Excited: 100 Days to Halloween Giveaway!

It’s that day again!

One of many best moments of the year where we cross the threshold from a 3-digit countdown to a 2-digit countdown!

Get excited.

So, to mark the occasion, I’m spending the day watching a few Halloween favorites. Right now, I’m 40 minutes into Halloweentown and I’m already panicking over my lack of definitive plans for Halloween.

I’m very much considering seeing a psychic to give me the scoop as I’m terrible at decisions and this is the most important day of the year we’re talking about.

As we begin the official countdown, let’s discuss your favorite Halloween activities!

What are you most looking forward to as we get closer to the haunting holiday? What’s your favorite candy? What’re you dressing up as?? So many questions so little time!Β 

Share your answers in the comments below! I’ll randomly select one person to receive a Halloween themed mystery prize. Could be treats… could be tricks… πŸ™‚ Β Sadly this is this is open to U.S. residents only– I’m so sorry! But don’tΒ letΒ that deter you from sharing your excitement with us. πŸ™‚

Until next time!

-Sarah

 

 

Nefarious News: R.L. Stine & Fox Producing 3 “Fear Street” Movies

That fucking headline says it all!

Can you tell i’m excited? πŸ™‚

I heard the news last night via the Twitter grapevine.

Screen Shot 2017-07-18 at 8.56.02 AM.png

This moment was so long overdue! My sister and I have been pondering the greatest question in life for years: “Why the fuck haven’t they made a ‘Fear Street’ movie?!”, and finally it’s come to be. Three times over!

My reaction was of course subtle.

Screen Shot 2017-07-18 at 8.56.21 AM.png

According to The Hollywood Reporter, the film is being written and directed by Leigh Janiak, the director of the indie horror flickΒ Honeymoon. Apparently the idea was in the works some time ago as there was a script written… somewhere… catching dust. Needless to say, Fox is going full force with the project now and in a big way. The studio is demanding that all three of the films be completed by Janiak back to back, with release dates in the span of a few months of each other.

This is a pretty hefty job if Fox is insistent on that time table.

But, details are sure to change as this project is lifted off the ground. The movies are still in pre-production and anything could happen in these early stages! I just hope that these aren’t cranked out without any regard for the quality.

I mean, this is Fear Street we’re talking about.

perfect-date-r-l-stine-paperback-cover-art

Now my biggest question is what three books they’re going to be choosing for the films. I have a sneaking suspicion it’s going to be one of the trilogies…

Maybe Cheerleaders?

junk2

Maybe the Saga books?

enhanced-buzz-orig-10529-1371682725-8

Who knows! Even though those trilogies spanned into the realm of “sagas” after a while, It’s still a definite possibility. I can’t fucking wait for more details to emerge! πŸ™‚

So, tell me: Are you excited to see a Fear Street movie? Which books were your faves and which do you hope they’ll adapt? Also, who should be the main players??

Until next time!

-Sarah

 

That’s a Wrap: Farewell, George Romero

I spent my Sunday watching home haunt documentaries, that I fully intended to write-up on Vespertine House this evening. At some point in the last one I watched, I found myself rolling my eyes at yet another zombie-themed haunt. 

I then had a moment of reflection on the modern-day zombie renaissance we’ve had the last few years. It seems that everywhere you look there are zombies. 

We see them shambling out of the Halloween and Horror niches and into everyday life. They’ve invaded our television sets, music, fashion, games– even quirky bumper stickers have a booming zombie-loving demographic. Ultimately I shook my head and murmured “people and their fucking zombies”.

Of all days to have such a thought, it had to be the day that the father of the modern-day zombie passed away.


From what started as Barbara’s screams in an old cemetery in 1968, and ended with another Trixie virus outbreak in 2010, George Romero proved again and again that he could orchestrate zombie fear amongst the masses with the utmost finesse. 

Romero adapted the zombie creature and its origins to fit a more modern-day audience. His concept was far removed from the original Voodoo zombie seen in classic Horror films like “I Walked With a Zombie”. His formula has stood the test of time as it’s applied in the majority of the zombie Horror we see today. 

   
I’m happy to say that I learned a lot about good cinema from watching his films. I also learned that it’s good to not be serious about everything all the time and that you can absolutely serve up your Horror with a side of fun. 

It’s with a sad keystroke that I say goodbye to yet another film legend. But I’m happy to know that he will never be forgotten.

        
So, the next time a zombie shuffles across a silver screen or a protagonist nervously discovers that a strange virus is bringing the dead back to life, smile and think of George. His greatest gift is the incredible Horror legacy that he’s left us with.

πŸ’œ

-Sarah

Damon Salvatore: A Tribute To Thee

I’m feeling nostalgic.

I’m not sure if you watched The Vampire Diaries but I can assure you that regardless of that, you’ll still be utterly enamored with the man in this post.πŸ€“

I was heartbroken when the series ended a few months ago. I mean, we’re talking ugly-cried during the finale and had serious withdrawals for a few weeks.

Don’t judge me. 😌

I’d like to think my heartbreak was justified as the series was very well written. We’re not necessarily talking Oscar-worthy or life-changing, but it was written and produced by one of my favorite screenwriters: Kevin Williamson.

Yes! The same Kevin Williamson who wrote the Scream movies and had a hand in many of my other favorite teen-screams from the 90s.

I was urged to watch TVD midway through the series solely so that I could join the urger in regular viewing and discussion once caught up. I reluctantly gave it a chance, a big selling point being my faith in K-Wills writing.

Holy shit balls did I get hooked.

I wouldn’t say obsessed but I definitely hung on every single episode. This was intensified when he was introduced… yes, Damon Salvatore. ❀️

tumblr_mdld3apn7h1rpp221o1_500

Sure, sure, I know you’re sitting there thinking “This bitch is crazy- what’s the big deal? Looks like a douche to me πŸ˜’“, in which case my response is yes, you’re 95% correct with that statement as I damn well may be a crazy bitch and Damon is definitely a douche.

Definitely….

A douche…

Definitely.

Don’t get me wrong! I thought he was useless for a good little while, but even I succumbed to his charms…

tumblr_nmjwl7gh5i1sghe4oo1_500

So, let’s note right now that our oldest Salvatore bro was a pretty huge jerk most of the series, but after a while, in a weird way, it started to grow on me.

That snark and blasΓ© attitude was everything. I can directly relate in that sense… I also appreciated his ability to down 5 gallons of Bourbon per episode without anyone really saying anything about it.

He’s by far the sexiest high-functioning alcoholic vampire in all of tv land. That would make for an interesting episode of Intervention, no? πŸ˜€

After being reminded of Ian Smolder-holder’s ability to portray Damon in the most perfect manner this week by a colleague of mine, I felt compelled (get it?! No? TVD joke…πŸ€“) to put this post into the universe in hopes that it spawns a parallel world in which Damon is a real-life, corporeal heartthrob, taking names and ruining lives one small town at a time! 😍

Without further ado, here’s my list of lovable quirks that made Damon Damon.

Let’s begin, yes?

 

His wonderful communication skills.

He knows a thing or two about love. ❀️

He knows his brother extremely well.

Also, very much a family man.

He’ll always save you a seat.

He’s an adamant bookworm… πŸ“š

And is up-to-date with all the new releases.

He takes care of himself…

For the most part.

An excellent friend..

Always willing to do you a favor.

He knows just what to do to make you laugh.

He’ll always keep your heart close. 😍

Now, if you’ve been sold just a little, I’ll urge you now to hop on Netflix and binge the series at your own risk. Here, “At your own risk” means that you may or may not fall in love with the show and ugly-cry when it’s all said and done. 😭

I’ll be here for support, Love.

Regardless, here’s to you Damon- and every smile, tear, laugh, scoff and gawk you’ve provided me through those amazing seven seasons. Shout out to all the fantasies and blue-eyed/leather-jacket clad dream visits i’ve received since first meeting you. 😏

Now, I want to know: Did you watch The Vampire Diaries? If so, who were your favorite characters and why? If not, are you interested now? Or have I simply piqued your Smolderholder appetite? In which case… yes, girl, yes. Β 

I leave you with a little sight for your sore eyes. 😏

Until next time! πŸ™‚

πŸŽƒπŸ’œπŸŽƒ

-Sarah

Nefarious News: Grandin Road’s Halloween Haven 2017 Release

I’m certain everyone here has assumed I’m dead. I’m happy to report I am not… If I am, I’m blissfully unaware and can vouch Β that the afterlife is identical to waking life!

I sure have missed Vespertine House and talking to all of my “House Mates” here! I’m pushing myself to get back to casual writing as I’m hoping to incorporate more creative writing into my schedule as well.

Lots of verbiage on my plate.

And I like it. πŸ™‚

In more important news! Today was a truly amazing day as Grandin Road released their 2017 Halloween Haven collection! I got the email and spent the whole day filling my cart and lurking every single item in their range of new decor.

This year the theme is a cross between “The Faces of Halloween” and “Cirque”. There were a lot of stunning circus/carnival themed items. Many are a lovely little nod to the classic sideshow acts of days of yore. Or you know.. the stuff you see at the super shady carnival that rolls through town on a whim. Either way! Bring on the entertainment, baby!

tumblr_o48p9zTikh1rm9sqwo1_400.gif

Grandin Road is known for beautiful home decor and offers stylish and unique options for decorating your favorite rooms in the house. They’re a little bit on the pricey side but, girl, they have a store card and, and, and that… that… makes it okay… right?

nope.gif

Moving on! The following are some of my favorite items that are absolute MUST-HAVES for your haunted home this season!

Victorian Busts

So, last year I made my first purchase with Grandin Road and bought the set of masquerade masks complete with pedestals for year-round enjoyment. I wasn’t expecting much really as I figured they would be run-of-the-mill items that would just be a good addition to my ahem, interesting home decor.

Girl.

I was wrong.

These masks were jaw-dropping. They not only sit around two feet high, but the quality is high enough that I feel like I might get in trouble with some parental figure every time I touch them!

I want to say that the Victorian Busts are probably this year’s version of the masks in the sense that they’re best purchased as a pair even though you buy them separately.

This suffices to say that I think these are so adorable and just creepy enough to keep me interested without feeling uncomfortable when making inadvertent eye contact in passing.

Margaret and Willem are made of sculpted resin and feature intricate details including the fanciest of ribbons ever to be fathomed by man and soft woolen hair.

Talk about blueblood…

Each bust is $79 which may pop your wallet a little, but snatching up something like this would be a 365 investment (aka decor you can display all year round)!

Screen Shot 2017-07-13 at 10.28.57 PM.png

The Skellierina

I have a love for music boxes, add a little goth and you’ve got my new favorite thing.

Admittedly, when I saw this particular item I let out an audible “Ooooh…” and proceeded to gawk before adding it to my cart.

This Skellierina (get it?!) music box is a subtle nod to this year’s Cirque theme that stays true to the classiness of Grandin Road’s finer Halloween Haven decor. Skellierina rotates atop her black pedestal as green lights emanate from beneath her. According to the description, she plays music and is activated with the poke of a button. Which song she plays and how long she plays for is a mystery that only her new owners can solve!

She’ll set you back just a few bucks at $29. Again, this is another item you can keep around the entire year. What better way to commemorate Halloween all 12 months than with a little “tribute to thee” perched upon your mantle?

Screen Shot 2017-07-13 at 10.46.20 PM.png

“Palm Reader” Neon Sign

As someone who’s into everything obscure and strange, it goes without saying that this particular item would be a staple for my haunt this year.

The “Palm Reader” Neon Sign gives off that mysterious back-alley-psychic vibe.

You know… Like the gypsy shop that our hapless protagonist stumbles into from the rain one dark night only to have his fate change forever!

…Or at least until the second movie comes out.

This little beauty screams “come hither” to all your neighbors and will guarantee you the most mystical house on the block.

Pick this up for $79 and call it a day with your decorating this year. Although… you might want to put a few more decor items out just so you don’t get any desperados knocking on your door after hours asking for advice.

Unless you’re into that sort of thing…

If so, I just helped you found your new Psychic Consulting business and on a budget too!

You’re welcome.

Screen Shot 2017-07-13 at 10.56.57 PM.png

Animated Haunted Movie Projector

Every year I watch for the game-changing items debuting this season. I have to say that I was so impressed by this little guy…

The Animated Movie Projector is one of the more unique items I’ve seen in recent years. This animated projector’s reels roll as it projects an eerie vintage scene of a skeleton dancing to The Entertainer.

Girl.

I can get behind this.

I have yet to see this one in action which makes me a tiny bit hesitant to purchase on release day. I reached out to Grandin Road on Facebook about seeing a product video of this only to find that they currently don’t have that available. I’m hopeful it’ll be added shortly, but if not, I can’t feel too terrible about this prop as it costs a mild $39.

For a truly unique item that brings in a little vintage, whimsy, and horror, definitely pick this up!

 

Screen Shot 2017-07-13 at 11.07.57 PM.png

Six Arm Lady Shadow Box

This is the final item on my list and maybe my favorite.

This goes back to the whole vintage cirque thing Grandin Road is running with this year. And this displays it in a perfectly macabre way!

The Six Arm Lady Shadow Box displays a beautiful dancing shadow of a Medusaesque figure gently swaying her six arms up and down. This animatronic is downright hypnotic! Grandin Road thankfully added a product video of this item that I love more and more every time I watch it.

If you’re not sold with the projector as a unique Halloween prop, then this one might be the final nail in the coffin for you instead.

This old girl is a bit pricey, and is the most costly item on this list at $149. Fortunately, we can reference the whole store credit card thing again and justify it entirely because… Halloween. πŸ™‚

Screen Shot 2017-07-13 at 11.20.50 PM.png

Every item here counts as everyday decor… at least for yours truly.

Probably why I have no visitors.

Don’t be fooled- this is not the entirety of Grandin Road’s Halloween collection, there are numerous items that I loved and left out. I wanted to share my must-haves and grab your attention enough for you to at least browse their collection. If anything, you’ll be struck with inspiration to create your own little Halloween haven. πŸ™‚

So, spill your guts- what did you think of these items? Which were your faves and which were the knaves? I want to know. I miss you. πŸ™‚

-Sarah