BOGO Totems, Spells for Sale, & Everything Else You Should Never Buy on The Internet

I apologize for not posting in a week or two. Up until yesterday morning I was recovering from some terrible stomach plague and had no energy for anything.

Cue the pity tears.

During my time on my death bed, I found myself swiping on Tinder for a doctor that could explain why I was dying, as well as cleaning up my inbox.

I subscribe to a lot of, ahem, interesting websites.

I try to keep up with the stranger occult and paranormal communities as having a finger on that creepy pulse keeps things lively! Also, I just really enjoy some of the “seriousness” that’s out on those sites & forums… Oh, the people you’ll meet!

There’s one particular site that leaves me scratching my head every time one of their emails slithers into my inbox.

Haunted Curiosities is a forum and online store that specializes in “rare” and “unique” “occult” items. You can find everything ranging from totems to a retreat in the woods with included spiritual cleansing.

Please note that certain keywords in the above paragraph are in quotes for a very specific reason:

In between bouts of vomiting, I dug around in their shop. Not only are the items for sale promising the greatest power, luck, wealth, love, & even immortality.

What’s even more interesting is that each item basically has a short story depicting the great lengths the shopkeepers went to to procure said item, and if that doesn’t make you scoff then the price points for these items will.

Now, I know what you’re thinking “but, girl… nobody is stupid enough to fall for that shit. Or at least no one has that kind of money to just throw at this crap”.

You’d be surprised.

I did some more digging and the craigslist of complaints, Ripoffreport.com, turned up quite a few reports on the shady-shady of Haunted Curiosities.

Not only was I surprised to see that people were spending their hard earned cash on the junk that this site was hashing out, but there were many instances in which a person repeatedly patronized the site trying to get something out of their purchase.

It was pretty sad.

Beyond this site, I found a whole section on Ripoff Report for people who were swindled out of big bucks by shady paranormal investigators and supposed mystics. This ranged from a few bucks for a bad psychic reading, all the way up to several thousands of dollars for repeated “cleanings” in order to prevent “predicted” terrible fates from befalling their loved ones.

I suppose there’s a lesson to be learned here.

Like, never ever shell out loads of hard earned cash for spiritual experiences or items in hopes that they will be the answer to all your problems. I know things can get rough some times, but going all-in with your faith in tow can only lead to disappointments.

This is not to discourage you from going to get your palm read or your tarot cards shuffled every once in a while. As long as you’re not relying on it to solve all your problems in life, I think you’re good. But beware of any psychic who would give you good news and then immediately push you to drop more cash for more answers.

Not worth your time, bro.

I think this suffices to say that you should avoid purchasing any and all of the aforementioned Β items/services online. Solely because I don’t want to see your lovely name on Ripoff Report, baby. πŸ™‚

So, tell me, what sort of crazy shady stuff have you seen online? What’s the craziest story of spiritual swindling you’ve ever heard? Have you ever been a victim of such? It’s okay, I’m here to support you and hunt those sons of bitches down. πŸ™‚Β 

‘Til next time!

-Sarah

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Damon Salvatore: A Tribute To Thee

I’m feeling nostalgic.

I’m not sure if you watched The Vampire Diaries but I can assure you that regardless of that, you’ll still be utterly enamored with the man in this post.πŸ€“

I was heartbroken when the series ended a few months ago. I mean, we’re talking ugly-cried during the finale and had serious withdrawals for a few weeks.

Don’t judge me. 😌

I’d like to think my heartbreak was justified as the series was very well written. We’re not necessarily talking Oscar-worthy or life-changing, but it was written and produced by one of my favorite screenwriters: Kevin Williamson.

Yes! The same Kevin Williamson who wrote the Scream movies and had a hand in many of my other favorite teen-screams from the 90s.

I was urged to watch TVD midway through the series solely so that I could join the urger in regular viewing and discussion once caught up. I reluctantly gave it a chance, a big selling point being my faith in K-Wills writing.

Holy shit balls did I get hooked.

I wouldn’t say obsessed but I definitely hung on every single episode. This was intensified when he was introduced… yes, Damon Salvatore. ❀️

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Sure, sure, I know you’re sitting there thinking “This bitch is crazy- what’s the big deal? Looks like a douche to me πŸ˜’“, in which case my response is yes, you’re 95% correct with that statement as I damn well may be a crazy bitch and Damon is definitely a douche.

Definitely….

A douche…

Definitely.

Don’t get me wrong! I thought he was useless for a good little while, but even I succumbed to his charms…

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So, let’s note right now that our oldest Salvatore bro was a pretty huge jerk most of the series, but after a while, in a weird way, it started to grow on me.

That snark and blasΓ© attitude was everything. I can directly relate in that sense… I also appreciated his ability to down 5 gallons of Bourbon per episode without anyone really saying anything about it.

He’s by far the sexiest high-functioning alcoholic vampire in all of tv land. That would make for an interesting episode of Intervention, no? πŸ˜€

After being reminded of Ian Smolder-holder’s ability to portray Damon in the most perfect manner this week by a colleague of mine, I felt compelled (get it?! No? TVD joke…πŸ€“) to put this post into the universe in hopes that it spawns a parallel world in which Damon is a real-life, corporeal heartthrob, taking names and ruining lives one small town at a time! 😍

Without further ado, here’s my list of lovable quirks that made Damon Damon.

Let’s begin, yes?

 

His wonderful communication skills.

He knows a thing or two about love. ❀️

He knows his brother extremely well.

Also, very much a family man.

He’ll always save you a seat.

He’s an adamant bookworm… πŸ“š

And is up-to-date with all the new releases.

He takes care of himself…

For the most part.

An excellent friend..

Always willing to do you a favor.

He knows just what to do to make you laugh.

He’ll always keep your heart close. 😍

Now, if you’ve been sold just a little, I’ll urge you now to hop on Netflix and binge the series at your own risk. Here, “At your own risk” means that you may or may not fall in love with the show and ugly-cry when it’s all said and done. 😭

I’ll be here for support, Love.

Regardless, here’s to you Damon- and every smile, tear, laugh, scoff and gawk you’ve provided me through those amazing seven seasons. Shout out to all the fantasies and blue-eyed/leather-jacket clad dream visits i’ve received since first meeting you. 😏

Now, I want to know: Did you watch The Vampire Diaries? If so, who were your favorite characters and why? If not, are you interested now? Or have I simply piqued your Smolderholder appetite? In which case… yes, girl, yes. Β 

I leave you with a little sight for your sore eyes. 😏

Until next time! πŸ™‚

πŸŽƒπŸ’œπŸŽƒ

-Sarah

Blood Bath: World’s First ‘Blood Rave’ to Commence This Halloween

Nope, you did not misread that.

According to all freaky deaky news sources out there, Amsterdam will be home to the world’s first ‘Blood Rave’.😐

Now, I know you find yourself asking what the fuck this even means, so I’ll go ahead and illustrate it in Sarah-Terms☺️:

So… did you ever see that shitty movie about the Vampire hunter who was also a Vampire, but like… if Neo from the Matrix could be a Vampire? It had lots of techno music and Wesley Snipes– Yeah, Blade! That’s it.☺️ Well.. shit’s gonna be like that scene in the beginning.

According to what reputable news sources I’ve read, the blood rave will take place this Halloween and has been deemed 2legit2quit 😏by the Facebook Event page created in its honor.

Thanks for the sarcasm, Blade, this post was missing it.

Thanks for the sarcasm, Blade, this post was missing it.

Now, I typically would absolutely condone this sort of thing and join in myself, as I like blood as much as the next girl, ☺️but this seems like a festering, breeding and feeding ground for vampires, in which case, I’m scared and I’m out.😟 What I also appreciate about this is how low key the promoters are being, they have maintained their anonymity throughout all the press on this because of the sensitive nature of the event.😐

Also, no confirmed word on whether or not real blood will be used, but aforementioned shady promoters are “hoping” they can get a very large supply of the real deal as the sprinkler system they designed for the event has beenΒ  tested with a substance that simulates the real stuff.😐

I’m sorry but that has bright red “Vampire” flags all over it.πŸ˜’

Blade and I are on the same page when it comes to our disdain for vampires... ...I'm a lot less violent though.

Blade and I are on the same page when it comes to our disdain for vampires…
…I’m a lot less violent though.

So, what are your thoughts on this? Would you like to go to a rave to be doused in gallons of blood and made a Snack Pack for vampires that are waiting in the wings? Would you want to see something like this go on Stateside or in your area?☺️

πŸ’œπŸŽƒπŸ’œ

-Sarah

Monstro Venatorum: Vampirology 101

So!

I’ve been in a pretty shitty way over here as my WordPress app has been crashing non-stop. πŸ˜– They updated it and fixed the photo library crashes, which is super great, but now when I try to look at your lovely blog posts in it, it gets the wiggins and flips its shit. Buh… Asinine. πŸ˜’

Anyways! Excuse my short absence. ☺️

I want to start a new series on Monster Hunting (hence the Monstro Venatorum in the title)! πŸ˜ƒ

Fun Fact: If you haven’t noticed already from previous posts, I love all things related to monsters and cryptids! I have mild Sanguivoriphobia which is kinda going to be explained here.😌

So, in this first post, I’d like to introduce my perspective on the study of Vampires, or Vampirology.

Vampirology: My Vested Interest

Now, I used to have a firm belief that Vampires did not exist because the idea was way too outlandish. I mean, let’s think about it for a second…

Seemingly human creatures that stay out of the sun and stalk the night for blood to maintain their immortality?

Yeah, no. πŸ˜’

But my perspective changed when I read Vampires Are by the late Dr. Stephen Kaplan.

Jeez, Lestat, could you be anymore obvious?!

Jeez, Lestat, could you be anymore obvious…

Dr. Kaplan was the first proclaimed Vampirologist and by all intents and purposes, well-deserving of the title. Vampires Are is an obscure book, on an even more obscure subject, that was independently published in 1984. The book documents the first 10 years of Dr. Kaplan’s work at the Vampire Research Center in New York; a center that he founded in 1971 with the help of his colleagues.

The purpose of the Vampire Research Center was to conduct in-depth studies on Vampirology and those who identify as real vampires. Dr. Kaplan’s research was no joke as he wanted serious research, observation, and experimentation only. The center’s specialists included anthropologists, sociologists, hematologists, and psychologists.

Nope- No... Definitely not that kind of research.

Nope- No… Definitely not that kind of research.

Fun Fact: Did you know that Dr. Stephen Kaplan was the one responsible for blowing the lid off the Amityville hoax? He’s responsible for debunking all of the outlandish claims that the Lutzs and Warrens made about the incidences that occurred. This is why I took all of everything I read in Vampires Are as reputable. Dr. Kaplan was a no-nonsense kind of guy. I can appreciate that when it comes to paranormal research!β˜ΊοΈπŸ‘πŸ»

In the 70’s doing research was no easy endeavor as the internet was a super-cool futuristic idea still. Dr. Kaplan posted the center’s number and address in alternative magazines and shared the details of what they were doing in radio and TV interviews. The center received so many letters and phone calls from people who claimed to be creatures of the night but only a small fraction of those individuals actually became case subjects. With that in mind, most of the center’s research was conducted in the field which proved to be somewhat… dangerous at times.

I hear you, Abe, I hear you.

I hear you, Abe, I hear you.

The book details some of the craziest Vampirology case studies I’ve ever come across. It’s one of my favorites even though it gives me the creeps. 😐 In the end, this is what stirred my interest in the subject and since then, I’ve read as many articles, research papers, and books on the subject. πŸ’œI highly recommend checking it out if this piques your interest!

Modern Day Vampirology

Okay, so, now that we all know how my interest became, it’s time to get a handle on modern day Vampirology.

Truth be told, Vampirology is an overlooked and often ignored study, considering how much bunk gets around these days on the subject.πŸ˜”

Too legit to quit right there.

Too legit to quit right there.

I will say that there are still some who take the subject seriously and have conducted substantial research. For instance, my hero Professor John Edgar Browning has written numerous research articles and papers on Vampirology and has a really profound understanding on the theology that directly influences modern day vampire culture. His work really delves more into people who identify as vampires on a philosophical or spiritual level. I really feel this isn’t by choice either as this is really what makes up most of the subject today.

Yeah, the majority of those people fall into what I like to call the

The majority of those people fall into what I like to call the “Don Henrie” category

The truth is that beyond Professor Browning, I haven’t found many other dedicated, reputable Vampirologists. Which is a shame because it really is quite an interesting subject… although one completely cheapened by pop culture.πŸ˜‘

Boooo.πŸ˜’

Peter Vincent totes agrees.

Peter Vincent totes agrees.

What Vampirology is to Me

You may be wondering where my interest in all of this has brought me.

Well, I’m glad you asked!☺️

As of right now, I’m still compiling an opinion on the subject, and to be quite honest, I don’t really know that I’ll ever have a definitive answer for myself.πŸ’¬

Are they real? Are they just a delusion? Or maybe it’s all just some Eastern European hokem told around campfires? πŸ”Ž

I honestly can’t refute any of the above… But I will say that I believe that true Vampirism could possibly be real.

At this point my thirst for knowledge is unyielding, and digging through books and papers and articles is like unraveling some kind of great secretive mystery as so few talk about it from a non-crazy standpoint.πŸ˜‚

I didn't realize real vampires felt so strongly about the issues... like... Twilight... Yes, this is truly what this newscast was about.

I didn’t realize real vampires felt so strongly about the issues… like… Twilight…
Yes, this is truly what this newscast was about.

My interest really relates to the historical and mythical lore that surrounds the bulk of what we know about vampires today, especially when we consider how these myths still relate to modern-day vampires in pop culture.

Truth be told though, if it’s stimulating enough, I’ll typically take interest in it… vampires are no exception.😌

...That too.

…That too.

Bottom line: there’s a lot of unsolved cases in history and nature that make you wonder about what’s really out there. I like to keep an open mind about it, and if that means becoming the Sanguivoriphobic shut-in that I am today, so be it!πŸŽ‰πŸ˜†πŸ‘πŸ»

Revenant repellant.

Revenant repellant. Every damn day.

In the next leg of this series, I’ll get into more detailed cases and other facets of the subject… that’s only if this goes over well with you guys! I won’t get too cray if you all aren’t into it.☺️
So, what are your thoughts on the subject? Are you scared of vampires? Do you think they could exist? Would you like to see more posts on the subject? Do you want book/research recommendations? Let me know! πŸ’œπŸ˜ƒ

πŸ’œπŸŽƒπŸ’œ

-Sarah

Good Morrow: Sunday Survival Assortment

Let it be known that it’s indeed 9AM here.

And I have yet to go to sleep.☺️

I’m in bed, trying, but it’s just not happening.

After an hour of laying here, singing to myself, ☺️ I decided to compile some things for you to check out in your downtime today. These things should surely make your Sunday that much more splendid. β˜ΊοΈπŸ‘πŸ»

Music

Les Friction is one of my absolute favorite bands of all time.πŸ’œ I’m still waiting with baited breath for another album but their debut never gets old. If you like E.S. Posthumus you’ll definitely enjoy Les Friction.

Fun fact: Les Friction actually has close ties with E.S. Posthumus- Helmut Vonlichten was in E.S. Posthumus and started Les Friction in 2010 after his brother’s untimely passing.

Enjoy the following over a good book today.πŸ’œ This album is gorgeous and actually plays out as a story about a time in the future when people can travel at will to other dimensions leaving their bodies behind in a semi-vegetative state. The story is about the travelers returning after receiving a bunch of distress calls, only to find earth in shambles and the people completely lost. They need to save earth before it’s too late… You know… That jazz. πŸ˜πŸ‘πŸ»

I won’t typically recommend you buy something but, if you can support the brilliance that is Les Friction, I highly recommend it. β˜ΊοΈπŸ’œ

Activities

Um…

I like to color. 

☺️

It’s quite leisurely and relaxing actually and you know… Everyone has their thing… Mine just happens to be… coloring… Amongst other things… 😌

Dover Publications has the most awesome assortment of coloring books your boring adult money can buy! I started receiving catalogs from them recently… I’m not sure why but I’m glad it happened. Because… Cryptozoology. πŸ˜†

  
Get this awesome coloring book and others on Dover’s site for only $3.99! Just Imagine the satisfaction that $4 will bring! πŸ˜ƒ 

Now, for the time being, if you sign up for Dover’s mailing list you will receive some printable coloring sheets that are perfect for keeping you entertained while you wait for your Cryptozoology and Pony coloring books to arrive. β˜ΊοΈπŸ‘πŸ»πŸ’œ

Food & Libations (This is an easy one)

I’ve been craving Muffuletta even though I don’t eat bread.πŸ’œπŸ’œ I’d still eat all the innards like a fiend! If you’ve never had Muffuletta before, today is a good day to make it!

 It’s the most amazing, delicious, hearty sandwich you will ever have! And a New Orleans classic. πŸ’œ We southern folk appreciate the food collective that goes on down here. β˜ΊοΈπŸ‘πŸ»

  

Here’s Martha’s take on it!

Admittedly my favorite intoxicating ingestable fluid is vodka. It’s clear, clean, and makes me feel like I’m sanitizing my insides.πŸ˜ƒ

Although I typically take it over ice and with a twist, I would love to give this drink a try (sans cola, I hate cola and all brown sludgy sodas😁).

Behold, Dracula’s Kiss.πŸ˜πŸ’œ

  

This sweet cocktail is made with cherry flavored vodka, grenadine and cola, and a cherry for garnish. If you have trouble finding cherry vodka (or don’t feel like trekking to find some today) use your fave cherry cola instead.πŸ˜ƒπŸ‘πŸ» 

This assortment should highlight your day a little and I hope you all enjoy the rest of your weekend! πŸ’œπŸ’œ

Let me know if you use any of today’s survival recommendation items, and tell me what you thought of them! πŸ’œπŸ’œ

πŸ’œπŸŽƒπŸ’œ

-Sarah

After Midnight No. 5

I fell asleep and woke up so disoriented about what day and time it was.

That’s how you know it’s a good nap.😏

Anyways, I spent some time on Pinterest looking at some of my boards and I had forgotten that I pinned this beauty.

Yes, that’s a vampire slaying kit from back in the day (although there’s always a chance this is a really amazing reproduction) and I need it! ☺️

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Fun Fact: I am sanguivoriphobic, meaning I’m afraid of vampires. This fear stems from an amazing, obscure book I read called Vampires Are, by the late Dr. Stephen Kaplan.

Truth be told, I’ve always loved Cryptozoology, but I have a pretty sound interest in Vampirology. When possible I read as much on the subject as I can and have gathered a nice little library from it. ☺️

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In other news, I also saw this on Pinterest and swooned a little. I think I might put one of these together to send to my Godfather up north. ☺️

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I’m also considering maybe putting one together to send to one of my subscribers here on WordPress!

What do you guys think? Would it be neat to get one of these adorable countdown boxes?

I love you, and I hope you subscribe, so I can subscribe and stalk all your posts.❀️πŸ”ͺ😏

πŸ’œπŸŽƒπŸ’œ

-Sarah